Adjusting

I have attempted to sit down and write this post several times, but hey that's life with two.

I am not an emotional pregnant person, but I certainly get a flood of emotions after the birth of a baby. Jason came to the conclusion when Blythe was an infant that it seemed like I was more emotional on days when I made more milk (i.e around growth spurts) and when my milk was first coming in. I think he hit the nail on the hammer with that one. The first couple of days I thought I was doing pretty good and thought to myself 'o.k. I guess I get to bypass the crazy emotional, cry for no reason period with the second one.' HAHA....my milk just hadn't come in yet.

As I mentioned before it was a tearful goodbye to Blythe as we left for the hospital and each goodbye while we were at the hospital didn't get any easier. Somehow Blythe understood that Mommy had to stay at the hospital, but she didn't understand why daddy had to stay. I thought when we said goodbye she would be crying for me (she is typically a mommy's girl), but nope she was crying for daddy. Blythe is very sensitive to my emotions so I did my very best to not let any tears fall while she was still in the room; oOtherwise, the lucky ones who were going home with her would hear her saying "mommy o.k?" fifteen hundred times. Certainly the hardest goodbye was on Tuesday night because I had never spent a night away from Blythe. I knew she would be fine, she LOVES her Mamo, Ladi, and Papa, but it was hard for me to say that goodbye. Luckily I did not spend the rest of the evening thinking about it, in fact to my surprise by the time Jason got back from taking her down to the car I wasn't thinking about it anymore. Knowing that we would be home mid afternoon on Wednesday I asked the grandparents to not bring her back to the hospital as I didn't think we needed another goodbye.

I thought that once I brought Jericho home Blythe would insist for me to do everything for her and I figured I would feed Jericho and then pass her off to spend time with Blythe. The reality was that Blythe wanted NOTHING to do with me. I couldn't get her water, couldn't take her potty, read her books, nada. It was hard not to feel like she was mad at me, but I knew that everyone was going to have to make some adjustments and things would get better. At this point she had more interest in Jericho than she did in me.

Each day has gotten a little bit better. Each day she relies on me a little bit more and even request that I read books, rock her, etc. Even though I have had the privilege of doing all these things everyday for 22.5 months it feels so good for her to ask for me. Last night was the first night that she let me rock her and I sat in there and just rocked and rocked, all the while with tears streaming down my face. Happy tears for the bond that I know Jericho and Blythe will have. Sad tears for this adjustment that Blythe is going through, but I know is for the better. I always wished I had more siblings and I know how much fun siblings can be and that it will all be worth it in the end. Being the second born, its hard to admit that there is something special about that first born child and that there is no way that the second one will get the same treatment as the first, but that doesn't mean the love isn't just as strong. [Don't worry I have the calendar for Jericho and it will have something written in it everyday for the first year, just like Blythe]

Blythe is doing pretty good with Jericho. Of course she has to be reminded to touch gently, and that the bouncy seat if for light bouncing and not supposed to be used as a sling shot to shoot Jericho across the room (no she hasn't catapulted her out, we always strap her in). But mainly she just loves on her. She gives her lots of kisses and asks to hold her. She really likes the idea of holding her, but there's something about holding her that she doesn't like. I don't know if she is too heavy on her legs or too hot or what. She sits down and gets the boppy all ready and says "hold it the baby, right there," and points to her lap with the boppy, but then instantly decides she doesn't like it. Oh well we will figure it out.

Today Blythe and I had our first mommy first born date. We ran up to the library to get a book that was on hold for me and to pick out a few new books for Blythe. It was great and I think Blythe felt special to get to go with just mommy, although she asked about Jericho and Mamo several times. Just as we had left the library Blythe asked for Nilla and it dawned on me that we forgot her inside. Right then I said a little thank you that I only had Blythe in tow as unloading both girls to go back into the library to collect Nilla would have been a lot bigger ordeal than just Blythe. Mental note to self: do an evaluation of everything that toddler drags in and reevaluate before leaving!

Jericho is adjusting well to life outside the womb. The first night I have to admit I was a little worried because she was fussy and my memory of Blythe was that all she did was eat and sleep, but since the first night she has fallen right into the newborn routine of eating, sleeping, pooping, peeing, and a few wakeful moments.