I am a hot mess as I close this last Wednesday of summer and think about the meet the teacher day tomorrow. How on earth is my first born 5? I had 5 long years that turned into 5 way too short, way too fast years. I'm not ready to open this next chapter in our life. This week I had good intentions of starting the new bedtime routine, my initial goal was to get them in bed by 8:30 for three nights then 8:00. I have FAILED miserably, 10pm, 8:43, 9:05, and 9:23pm. This whole school thing already seems to be putting a damper on our life. The strict bedtime, waking up to an alarm is just not our style. I wanted to be a stay at home mom because I wanted to raise our kids, not have them raised by someone else. Why does this mentality suddenly change because she is 5 and eligible for Kindergarten? Neither Jason or I have ever been home school minded but as we see the major changes that need to happen in our family routine its hard not to think "why are we doing this?" Why are we committing ourselves to being somewhere by 7:30am 5 days a week?
Luckily, we know better than to voice these thoughts to Blythe and she is SO excited and SO ready for Kindergarten. She has her new backpack and her lunch box, and she soon will have her school supplies. She has said several days this week, "I can't wait for Kindergarten to start." Thank goodness Blythe is ready and excited because that keeps me going, moving forwards allowing that voice of reason to step in and say 'she's got this, she's ready, she will blossom.' Strangely enough the fact that we have decided to put Blythe in the dual language program where 90% of her day will be in Spanish is not what makes me apprehensive. No, I already spent a solid 3 months having that debate with myself, to do it or not to do it, and I am still 100% on board with that decision.
My issues boil down to 3 main things:
1) the commitment - 5 days a week drop off at 7:30, pick-up at 2:40, in bed by 8:30, wake up by 6:30
2) handing my child over to someone else for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, that's 35 hours!
3) public school expectations of a 5 year old - sitting still for long periods of time and homework..seriously at 5, after you have had them for 7 hours?
Hopefully I come home tomorrow uber impressed with our Kindergarten teacher and all my apprehensions fly out the window. But for now its bedtime so I can make the most of these last few full days with my beautiful Blythe.